How do you measure your self-esteem?

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Have you ever had one of those conversations with your friends? You know the one where you’re upset because you’ve been seeing someone for a while. You have a great time together, the chemistry is off the chain and the attraction is definitely there but, somehow, he just isn’t rushing to seal the deal? The question you usually ask in the event of this happening is; what is wrong with me? Why hasn’t he tried to take things further?  Is he not attracted to me that way? Your friends will probably tell you stuff like; there’s nothing wrong with you, maybe he’s gay, maybe he can’t get it up etc.

When all of this is happening, do you ever take a minute to think what that is doing to your self-confidence if you have any at all? I mean, do you measure your self-esteem by how quickly someone wants to get you in their bed? If that is the case, then, I feel sorry for you. What about the time this person spends getting to know you and spending time with you? What about him listening to your problems and helping you out emotionally when you need it? Should you not measure your self-worth by the attention that he lavishes on you and not the record time in which he sees the colour of your underwear?

One thing I’ve learnt along the road to grown up city is that; we women can be our own worst enemies. We decide how someone feels about is using all the wrong measuring tools and then when we find these fall short, we end up blaming every man in the world for how shit they are. Sometimes, its is worth taking a step back and thinking about the fact that, someone wanting to sleep with you right away should not make you feel like you’re the most desirable thing on earth. After all, cheap attracts more, right? If we based our self-esteem on all the right things men do for us instead of how quickly they want to jump into bed with you, there will be a lot less of cynicism in the world.

4 responses »

  1. Pingback: Its Holiday Season again… Does it make you warm and mushy or give you the icky feelings of dread? | bluepearlgirl's world

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