I always have to smile when people act shocked when i tell them i am single. I mean really, it’s not that big a deal. There are thousands of twenty something single women out there. There is also factors involved as to why people are the way they are. I could give you a million and one reasons why I remain single.
By choice; this is because, I am tired of trying just to fail. I have been with different people and it all ultimately comes down to one thing. None of them is the right one in the end.
Independence; because I like being my person. I don’t like having to answer to anyone and i certainly do not want to depend on someone for my happiness because it is scary.
Afraid of being hurt; this is because, I know I am probably going to come out of whatever relationship i go into worse off because I am too trusting and men take advantage of that and take the piss..
All these reasons I have given are valid and true but, it is also a load of bullshit! No one in their right minds will want to stay single by choice (unless they have an unhealthy love for cats!) I mean, who wouldn’t love to wake up next to a warm body in the mornings? Who wouldn’t want to go on dates and hold hands and share kisses and all the other stuff you do in a relationship? Independence is just a defensive mechanism for the woman who isn’t getting any. I mean, i am independent don’t get me wrong but, that is not a reason to be single. Everyone needs a shoulder to lean on sometimes like that song ‘Lean On Me’ . As much as i love buying my own shoes and paying for my own drinks in clubs and doing everything for myself, it will be nice to have someone pick up the slack sometimes right? One hand washes the other and all that stuff. Afraid of being hurt? Really, who isn’t? Everyone who has a heart is afraid someone might break it if they give them a chance. So, being afraid of giving my heart is also a moot point because, i am basically saying that i am a coward. (how about that?) Looks like i have killed most of my reasons for being single because, they were stupid to begin with so, let’s get down to the real reasons shall we?
Ultimately, i have only one reason for being single and it’s that i have issues. Yes, big ones. Like huge issues. That is why I am single. You know, when you start dating, you find out things about yourself. Some good and some will be bad. I guess you could say that it is an educational experience. Every time you meet someone, they bring out something different in you and when it ends, you learn a bit more about the wrong way or the right way to do things.
Having said that, I know that I have deep-rooted beliefs about certain things that make it hard for me to get close to people. I am afraid that i will love someone so much they will see it and run away from me. I am afraid I will not love someone enough and that will put them off me. I am afraid that I am too pig-headed to listen to anyone tell me what to do. I am afraid that, I am too argumentative to have a peaceful relationship. I am afraid that I love one person so much that I can’t seem to have any of me left to give to someone else if I try. I am afraid that he won’t be good in bed and I’ll cheat and vice versa. I am afraid that when it comes down to it, I will not be good enough for anyone.
These are some of my issues and I haven’t even touched the surface yet so, if you ask why someone like me, who isn’t only good-looking (I know) but, is independent, domesticated and all round sex god is single….. I HAVE ISSUES!