So, I was on the phone with someone who is very important to me and they said something that got me thinking. He said I didn’t listen. I found it strange that he said that because, I always thought that he didn’t give me the opportunity to really get to know him but, we do talk a lot so, I should have learned something about him if I was listening right?
It is very important in every kind of relationship to listen to each other because, that is the way to learn the key things that make a person who they are. For instance, shouldn’t I know just what to say to make him feel better if he was having a bad day? I must admit I have always been out of my depth when it comes to saying things to make people feel better but, I do know how to make the ones close to me feel better so why couldn’t I do the same for him? The other question I have asked myself is, have I always been like this? Not listening to what people tell me? Do I forget as soon as they tell me because I am too wrapped up in my own little bubble? Maybe my past relationships have not worked out because I didn’t really know the person I was with like I thought I did? So many questions and I have no way of knowing the answers.
Stubbornness may be a reason but, I think that i have been too selfish thinking about how I feel and what I should get. This person accused me of not knowing him and I accused him of not letting me know him but, the truth is, the more I think about it, the more I realise that I know him. Just a side that he chose to show me so, it will be hard for me to really understand and find the right words to say to make them feel better because, all he does is show his happy or angry side. Never the distressed or vulnerable side because, he doesn’t like sharing his problems. A problem shared isn’t solved because, there isn’t much we can do about it is there?
He got me re-thinking some deep-rooted values but mostly, just drew my attention to the fact that, there is a high possibility that I am a passive listener and to have a good relationship, you have to listen actively because, that is the only way you can really get to know a perso