Being a woman is hard. We go through so much and we always have to act a way that is suitable for society and god forbid that we actually go out and get what we want without raising a few eyebrows. But that is nothing though trust me.
Being a black woman is twice as hard. I didn’t fully realise this until recently. We feel like we have so much to prove but it’s never enough. If you live in Africa, you don’t really grasp how hard it is because hello! Everyone one else is black right?
Every time you open you mouth to speak, people think that you are opinionated and rude. I have been told I have a ‘attitude problem’ or that I simply have an attitude. That always ticks me off because, why the hell should I not have an attitude? The way I see it, if you really know what you want and how to get it, you will have an attitude that says you don’t deal with bullshit. People don’t see it like that though. I have been likened to Makosi of big brother fame just because I am outspoken. I am sorry but, how does telling someone how I see things make me a ho? *I don’t get it either!!. We are branded as loud and lacking in manners and please don’t even get me started on how people act surprised when they find out I am over 25 and don’t have a baby daddy! *I know right?*
Let me not even get into the fact that our ‘brothers’ don’t want to date us because we are ‘long’!! That is laughable really. Just because you won’t take shit from some dude does not make me long surely does it? I have had conversations with a lot of men about this and they always leave me bemused. How can you say that black women talk back and give hell and just don’t shut up so you would rather not deal with that? I always tell them that is a bit offensive because seriously, have you met black men? I had a chat with a good friend of mine who ‘didn’t do black girls’ *his words not mine*. I asked him why he wouldn’t date a sister and he told me plain and simple. ”Because, they are not easy” Surely, that should make things more interesting right? I sat open-mouthed waiting for the idiot to go on and I didn’t get much else.
I know everyone has their own preferences and I am not trying to belittle that. That being said, I come from a place where people think the lighter you are, the better looking you are so, I suppose it should not be really surprising that our men feel that way. I mean, black women bleach their skin just to be lighter and more beautiful right? **concept is totally lost on me* Every time I come across someone who is trying to lighten their skin, I remember the poem I was taught back in primary school. (Black Is Beautiful) ironic because I think my class 4 teacher was bleaching her skin!!.
The thing is, we don’t really make thing easy on ourselves sometimes to be honest. I could blame it on the pressure that being black in a non black country puts on us but who am I kidding? Some of us talk like we don’t have a flipping education, we are gold diggers and proud, we trap men by having kids and we always think someone is out to get us. I mean, have you ever seen a black woman arguing with someone in a public place? That scene is bound to make you cringe and wish you were anywhere but there or anything but black.