What Is Your Emotional Availability?


Let’s face it, sometimes, people go through so many things relationships wise that it gets to a point where they can’t really be bothered to try anymore. They have been there, done that, seen it, heard it so its nothing new. Some may come across as heartless because, as much as they may like you, they just don’t have It in them to show you how they really feel anymore. There is always something holding them back. Something that is always at the back of their minds because of the past.

Would you really waste your time on someone like that though? Do you think that they might change if you continue to show them love and care? Would you think that the person is emotionally unavailable and just move on? Consider a scenario where you have been with someone for a few months and they suddenly get up and tell you that, they are sorry but they don’t know how to show emotion? How would that make you feel knowing that you have invested some time and effort into whatever it is that you had?
I would probably not be angry or upset because, I am probably as emotionally as unavailable as the next person.

The other scenario I would like to consider is when you have the same state of mind as the person you are with but, you try your best to treat them as fairly as possible but get nothing in return? Worse still what if said person tells you that they cannot get too serious with you because someone broke their heart 5 years ago? I mean, most people I know including me has had their  heart broken a time or two in our lives but, it goes without saying that we all need somebody at some point right?

The thing is, it gets to a time when people just simply stop trying. People don’t see the point in impressing others because they have the mind-set that they are likely to get hurt anyway. Would you really bother if you felt that way? Would you do the 100 texts a day and God knows how long on the phone every night you are not with the person you’re dating? I really find it difficult to even be impressed by anyone today but, this ain’t about me now!

Consider this though, people can be in love with others and not be with them. they may be with someone else but, do you think someone who is already in love with another person will ever be emotionally available to you? Personally, I don’t think that is possible because you see, no matter how much they may like you, they are, already emotionally involved. It is not cheating by any means, but, there will never be that all important connection that makes a relationship a good one. And let’s face it, you can never be that person that they love. If you are lucky, they may grow to love you in a way, but it will never be like before and the connection will never be on the same level. Take the couple who fight a lot even though they have been together for only a month or so. If they are both emotionally unavailable, the fighting will not stop because, they are just not right for each other. I used to believe that a man has to be as messed up as I am to keep up with me but, come to think of it, that will be a step backwards right?

How would you handle someone who is emotionally unavailable? Would you stay and hope that they connect with you someday? Would you leave thinking that there is better for you out there? Will i ever end a blog properly? 

One response »

  1. Do you really want your previous heart breaks to control your life? I know what it is to have your heart broken – it is the most terrible pain – and yet it is not fatal. We come out the other side alive. Yes, it stays with us but should it control us?
    When you meet someone new the past should be put away. They want to be with you and they do not deserve reserved emotions. It should be your first love again. You know it could hurt but it could also be wonderful (and it won’t kill you) so I urge you to be emotionally available.

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