Being homosexual is frowned upon in may cultures all over the world. Even though the government in some places accept homosexuality, that does not mean that the people will live and let live. In most countries, it is entirely forbidden and yougo to jail or worse still be killed for your sexual orientation. With this in mind, I come from a country where even though no one will kill you for being Gay or a Lesbian, it is still illegal and you can get arrested for it.
I went to an all girl boarding school where Lesbianism was widely known, secretly or not so secretly practised and known Lesbians were publicly ridiculed by everyone else. People experimented with it and some people stuck with it up until now.
One person that has stuck with being a Lesbian since we were teenagers is Dorcas Angel. What makes her special? Nothing really, she is just very open in her views about homosexuality and she says such nice things about her girlfriend that most of us girls that are on her Facebook wish our boyfriends or husbands or partners will say about us (don’t deny it!) Apart from that, she is possibly, the coolest Lesbian I have ever met so, I decided to have a little chat with her to see what she was all about.
With my recorder and my Hannah with me, it was decided that we’d meet in Elephant and Castle to have this chat. As we waited outside the station for Dorcas, Hannah and I wondered how she will be in person as we have not seen her in almost 10 years. Well, whatever we thought didn’t do her justice! She approached us smartly dressed in her skinny jeans and shirt neatly tucked in, neat hair and just looking totally cool and attractive (yes I said it!) the first thing I thought was ‘well, I do declare’! The pleasure though was when she started talking to us. she greeted us with respect, asked us where we wanted to go and then when we got to the place, she opens the door for us, gets us drinks and is gracious and gentle lady like all through the evening. Don’t get me wrong though, just because she was all round hotness did not mean I wasn’t going to go tough. Enjoy the conversation everyone.
Me: This will be like a conversation so relax. I will ask you questions that will go way back to when we were in boarding school feel free to say pass if you don’t want to answer a question but that does not mean you can pass on every question!!
So did you know way back in secondary school that you were a lesbian?
Dorcas: I did not know what it was. I didn’t have a label for it. I have always been attracted to girls but I did not know what it was. I didn’t even know the name for it.
Me: Your first ever girlfriend Christie, are you still in touch with her?
Dorcas: I don’t remember the last time I spoke to her . She is married to a man now but I’m not sure if she has children yet.
Me: So do you think that she was just experimenting with you back in the day?
Dorcas: I won’t be able to say because my current girlfriend was not a lesbian when I met her. I am the first woman she has ever been with so it is possible she was.
Me: How did you feel about everyone talking about you and Christie back in school? Did it make you uncomfortable?
Dorcas: I didn’t really care and neither did she. We liked being with each other and that was that.
Me: You did not mind the name calling? Daddy Dorcas and all that didn’t bother you?
Dorcas: Not in the least they didn’t.
Me: How does your close friends and family feel about you being a lesbian?
Dorcas: My close friends are lesbians and as for my family, I have not exactly told them but I think they know as I have all of them on Facebook and they say my status updates.No one has actually come out to ask me if I am. I think they do not know how to put the question into words.
Me: Do you think it’s the African denial thing? You know if they don’t say it, it’s not true?
Dorcas: No I don’t think it’s that. it’s because I’m not really close to them and I am not the type that talks about my personal life to them.
Me: Does your mum know that you’re a lesbian?
Dorcas: To be honest, she asked me once and I had to deny it because it would have broken her heart and I don’t want to give my mum a heart attack. She thinks my girlfriend and I are just friends and she does not like her as she thinks she is a bad influence on me.
Me: Would you ever tell her? I mean, it might suggest that you are ashamed of what you are doing which is why you have not told her.
Dorcas: I don’t know if I can as I said, I do not want to give her a heart attack. My girlfriends family are somewhat more understanding as they are fully aware that she is with me that way. Her mum is not happy with it but her brother in France is very supportive and since I’ve asked her to marry me, it will have to come out at some point.
Me: Tell me how it is like being in a relationship with women? You have mentioned that you’ve been with a guy before so how do you compare?
Dorcas: Being with a woman is stressful in its own way as women are naturally very possessive. One of my friends is always going on about how girls drives her crazy! I understand more though because I am a woman as well, I get why they act the way they do and what is up with doing your nails once a week and all that? laughs.
Me: There has to be some good sides to it though right?
Dorcas: More laughter. Yeah definitely. I am very traditional in the sense that, when I come home from work, I expect food on the table and my girl is good that way. She always makes sure there is food in the house, my clothes are washed and everything. I like to take care of my woman and I would not mind if she is not working. It will be entirely up to her whether she wants to or not.
Me: Tell me , is the sex good?
Dorcas: Yeah, its great. No complaints there
Me: So do you have any toys that you use?
Dorcas: I do have toys but she does not like all of them. I don’t understand since she bought that particular one she doesn’t like herself but I do have toys.
Me: Would you ever have a sex change?
Dorcas: Yes and no. Yes because I’d love to be the one to get my girlfriend pregnant and no because that will make the lesbian thing pointless because then I will be a man which is not the idea at all.
Me: homosexuality in the black community is widely frowned upon and it is probably even worse in Ghana. How will you act if you took your girlfriend home?
Dorcas: Been gay is illegal in Ghana so if I took her back home, we cannot act as a couple. We cannot even hold hands there. I won’t do that in UK even though it is not that frowned upon as it makes me uncomfortable.
Me: Would you ever cheat on your girlfriend?
Dorcas: I don’t want to sound arrogant and say never because we are all human and she knows that. but at the moment, it’s definitely no.
Dorcas revealed that she is engaged to her girlfriend Jessie in the interview so I wish them both all the best for their future and from all indications they are very happy together and I am proud of her as a fellow syterian for keeping up with who she really is and not what people expect her to me and I am just happy I got to experience some of her charm.