So today at work, I overheard a conversation between two girls which got my head spinning! OK fine. I was eavesdropping but, in my defence, they were really loud. One of the girls was complaining to the other that; her boyfriend goes out all the time but, when she tells him she’s going out, he gets upset and tells her she can’t go. Her friend was obviously full of good advice and told her to get rid of him (hopefully not by murder) and the girl in question said ‘I’m giving him till January to change and if he hasn’t, that’s it for me’
Now, we all know that man ain’t gon change. It’s one thing being in a relationship with a control freak and it’s another thing getting out of that relationship. Trust me, the reason I am writing this post is because, this conversation took me back. To many years ago. When I was in the same position as she is now.
Being in a relationship with a man who thinks he owns you is not something new. Most women end up with someone like that at some point and giving someone who has control
issues time to change is like waiting for a plane at the harbour. Not. Going. To. Happen! I remember having to remember to delete my call and text logs so that my control freak ex boyfriend would not have a reason to shout at me or question my activities. The good old days of calling my girlfriends to cancel our night out because, he didn’t think I should go. Hell, he even took me to work and picked me up just so I won’t be on the bus with other men who might look at me.
There’s nothing fun about being with someone who is so insecure that, they think the moment they give you room to breath, you’re going to run away with the first man you see. Men always complain about how insecure women are but, an insecure man, is worse than 50 insecure women. An insecure man is going to beat on you and tell you that it was your fault. An insecure man is going to alienate you from your friends and family because, he can have a firmer hold on you if you feel alone. An insecure man is going to tell you, you will never find someone to love you the way they do.
I really wanted to tell this girl at work to run. As far away as possible. Change your phone number, make your friends and family swear not to tell this guy where you are but, who am I to tell someone what to do? Chances are, he’s already got to her so badly, she
needs to see the nose bleed in the mirror to come to the realisation that she needs to leave herself. I felt her pain at the end of the day because, I’d been there and I know how hard it’ll be for her to cut the tentacles of someone who grows an extra hand as soon as you cut one off.