Testing the waters…


So, I’m sitting here staring at my blank screen and thinking back to a conversation with an old friend I run into a couple of weeks ago and how relevant it is to me and my life now. 

I don’t think that people are prepared to stick around long enough to make anything work these days; I say to my friend who for the purpose of this post shall be called George. The reason I was saying this to him was because he had broken up with his girlfriend whom he said he loved and I was trying to give him all the logical reasons why I thought he was never really in love with her. His answer to this although I completely dismissed at that time, has eaten at me for the past few days. I remember George saying that his ex girlfriend said the same thing I was saying about people running away at the first sign of trouble and not sticking around long enough to find out if things will work out or not. Most relationships these days start with ‘lets see how things go’ but the moment the going gets a little tough or even if there’s a whiff of things getting tough, its goodbye and I can’t deal with this or that now sort of thing. George said to me that they tried but, if you’re fighting all the time because of stupid reasons, then it’s time to call things off because at the end of the day, you want to spend your life with someone who is right for you (I don’t think he said it in those exact words but I was half drunk when we concluded this topic so, I don’t remember). In the end, I had to let him off because he did try for over a year before calling it quits. 

So, why am I telling you my friend’s story? Because although my friend tried for over a year, most people these days try for a few weeks before calling things off. This isn’t because people are overly picky and want to end up with the right person so are just working their way through the wrong ones at record speed. I think the main reason is people hardly get into anything with an ‘us’ attitude any more. We have all become so selfish that I sometimes wonder what the point is in even bothering. I don’t even think that we mean to be that way which makes it worse. Circumstances make our decisions for us, it seems. As a creature of habit, I don’t like having my personal space invaded all the time, so I know how other people who go through long spells of being single must feel when they start dating someone new and they start to take over even the tiniest bit of your life. It feels like you’re giving your independence and free will away because you have to think about how your actions will affect someone. You have to suddenly start thinking like an ‘US’ instead of a ‘ME’ and that is scary. As a self-confessed commitment-phobic,I can personally say that thinking of how my actions will affect someone is the most unpleasant part about starting a new relationship. That is why I think people find the easiest way to get out of this by finding reasons to end things with someone before things get too serious.

On the other hand, wouldn’t it be much nicer if two people who liked each other put in real effort to make things work? If someone brings a smile to your face even when you’re in a bad mood, shouldn’t that be worth sticking around for? I mean, what is the point of looking, wasting time and money on someone only to pack up and run at the first thing that brings a frown to your face? If is something trivial? I am by no means saying that my readers should stick with people who make them miserable from the start or with people who have bad characters but, how do you know until you actually try? So many people are so emotionally challenged these days, I wonder why it’s not on the disability list… Oh, but what do I know? 🙂


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