Being a Ghanaian woman and as a result, having tons of Ghanaians on my Facebook friends list, it’s not unusual for someone to ask me when I’m getting married. In fact, it’s the question I get asked most by my friends and even total strangers. The only people who never ask me when I’m getting married are my family. The funny thing is, majority of the people who ask me this question are themselves single so it makes me wonder what their agenda is. Anyway, to get people to stop asking me, I decided to come up with reasons why I should not get married.
I don’t have a boyfriend. This is true. To get married, you have to start a relationship with a boy and me and boys have an understanding; they stay away from me, and I don’t chase them away with my crazy womanly drama and attitude.
I don’t like living with people. Since I lived with a man in 2006 or 2007 for 6 months, I’ve decided that if I ever live with a guy again, it’ll have to be his ashes so it does not talk back, ask me to cook, leave the toilet seat up, be there when I get home from work, demanding my attention when all I want to do is sit quietly and watch Holyoaks, towels on the bathroom floor, look after him when he’s sick, deal with dirty socks and laundry days, be nice to his friends when I just really wanna break the Xbox… you see where I’m going with this…
I don’t want children. They scare the hell out of me. Enough said.
I can’t commit to that kind of commitment. Yes it’s true, I have commitment issues that are so crippling sometimes, I ran away from people when they start getting too close. You can ask any of my old friends. I can’t even commit to friendships for a long time. That’s why I don’t have really close friends but know a hell lot of people. So, asking me to commit to something as big as marriage is just asking for trouble.
I am not mature enough. Sure I am wiser with age but, I really don’t fancy sitting at the dining table with a man and planning our budget or holidays or having joint accounts and having to tell him when I want to buy new shoes and stuff.
I am a little crazy. I can’t help it. I get these wild ideas in my head and I have an outlandish way of thinking and coming to conclusions. I can just picture my husband’s face when I explain to him calmly and logically (in my head) how I think it’s totally acceptable to tip cows over or to try to steal a park bench or why I think that I can be a Russian spy when I don’t speak Russian.
I am flighty, cannot make up my mind on anything and I hardly ever finish things that I start because I get bored so easily.
I really don’t like marriage. To me, it’s pointless. I asked someone I know who recently got married if it was any different and they said it was just like moving in with your girlfriend or boyfriend. If it’s not epic, don’t do it!! That’s my point.
I want to marry Channing Tatum and since he already has a wife, I guess I missed my chance!
So, there you have it. Next time anyone asks me when I’m getting married, I’ll just tell them marriage is against my religion. Or something.