30 going on 25…

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I remember 10 years ago when I was still innocent (reasonably) and had this crazy idea of where I was going to be by the time I was 30 years old. I used to picture myself in a court room, working as a lawyer for free back home helping abused women and children for free. This subject was and is still close to my heart but, I never got that law degree. It wasn’t because I couldn’t do it. I gave it a good shot and did a good job of it until I decided it wasn’t what I wanted and dropped out. This has been the case with one or two things that I’ve tried to do with myself in the last few years and always seem to change my mind at some stage and move on to a new project. 

Yesterday, I woke up an d thought; okay! It’s the big one. What have you done with your life? Anything that you are proud of? I thought about this for a while. Trying to create a CV in my head and failing miserably at it. I mean, I have a professional CV that makes me look as indecisive as anything. I have had many jobs I’ve hated and a few that I’ve loved. I have done this course and that course and feel a little like Lynn from Girlfriends. Remember her? Professional student with a bunch of qualifications and no sense of direction? Depressing thought. To know that you’re at the age where most people think you should be married with kids and all that jazz. But, I was going about it all wrong!

I forgot how easy it is for me to get a job because my CV is so versatile. I didn’t think about the fact that I have built a life for myself with little help from anyone. I didn’t remember for a minute that I spend my spare time a few times a week helping feed the homeless in the city I live in and have done so for a while. I didn’t think that after all the pain and hardship that has come my way over the years, I am still here, strong and with a can do, no bullshit attitude. I mean, I have had the abusive boyfriend, the thieving boyfriend, the back stabbing friend, the I only know you when I want something friend. You name it, I’ve probably had it! I have loved and lost… A LOT! I have conquered a lot of my fears and demons and I have lived life to its fullest for someone as young as me. I realised I have a lot to be thankful for and more importantly, I have some amazing people in my life who have supported every short-lived dream I’ve had and will probably continue to have!

After my great epiphany, I decided that my life is good. It is as perfect as I expect it to be and there is so much more in-store for me. I am amazed every time I see the number of hits on my blog, It’s great when I hand someone a bowl of soup or a sandwich and they smile at me like I just gave them the sun. That feeling, knowing that I am doing two things at the moment that I absolutely love no matter how hard they are.

In the last 6 months, I learned to let things go and not let stuff affect me like they used to and in letting go, I have opened myself up to so many more great experiences! I guess this is a note to myself: When in doubt, always remember that I’m half way there, on this crazy road that leads to who knows where… (ah, gotta love Paloma Faith) 

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What’s your size?

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SIZEI have had this idea in my head for a while but, did not want to rock the boat so, have refrained from writing about it. Today though, I decided to throw caution to the wind and post it because I know most people wonder about this too (women of course)
 When you hear men talking about their type of women, something you think that what has this guy got to offer seeing as he has a long list of must haves and must not? Men don’t want women who nag. They want a woman who is independent but will still go on her knees and do you know what, no questions asked. They want a woman who will not talk back (mostly) someone who is drama free and isn’t high maintenance… the list goes on.
 I am a simple girl, I want simple things from a man but, I think that one question we women should not be afraid to ask is ‘’what is your size?’’. If you want me to be perfect, what am I getting in return? You walk around looking and acting like you’re a god among men but, what is the size of your penis and what can you do with it? Too many women fake it because they get into stuff with men who are so undersized that they may as well be using their fingers but, I think you should ask a man or at the very least, feel it during foreplay so that you can make a decision on whether to stop or continue.

Let’s talk about text, baby!

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lets_talk_about_text_baby_poster-r08c3af65b4d84f13b62a54d18ed6ecfb_znt_216Texting. The greatest invention of the century. It’s so easy and convenient. It give us the chance to stay in touch with everyone that is important or not so important to us everywhere we are and we don’t even have to open our mouths. Hell, we don’t even have to spell properly for it to work. The best thing about it is, these days, you can text for free with apps like whatsapp, BBM, KIK, Viper to name a few which are completely free as long as you have internet, it’s a small wonder mobile phone services still offer talk time to customers.

But is texting all the time a good thing when you’re dating someone? Does it really give you a chance to get to know someone properly? Does it make it easier for us to lie to people because they can’t see or hear us? Does it make trusting people easier or harder? More importantly, does it enable cowardice? (I know too many questions, too little answers, right?)

Do you remember the days when people actually spoke to each other as opposed to texting all the time? I do. Were things better then? Yes indeed! The reason I say this is because people had to think twice before they spoke to you because there wasn’t a wall to hide behind. People ultimately had a lot more respect for each other because of talking (that’s what I think anyway).

I don’t get excited about giving my number to people anymore as I know that it will likely result in a lot of texting, I’ll get bored and decide not to respond after a while or vice versa. Out of all the men I’ve met over the last couple of years when I was actively dating, only 3 of them actually picked up the phone to have a conversation with me at least once a week. The rest was all a lot of text and no action and that was mostly why I lost interest in them. What happens though, when people hide behind text messages?

You know when you’ve been seeing someone for a while and things are not going so well. You get a text message out of the blue telling you you’ve been dumped and you just look at your phone crazy like damn! (yes, stole that from a rap song). You then get really angry and send a couple of abusive texts back calling them cowards for not being man or woman enough to tell it to your face. I doubt that the drama is ever about being dumped. It’s always about the way it was done and you feel like you at least deserve some respect. What do you expect though; we live in a world now where people are so lazy they can’t even be bothered to get out of bed in the morning! If you’ve seen someone naked more than once and you’ve spent time with this person and have decided for some reason that you don’t want them, do you not think that a phone call is the least they deserve? The answer sadly seems to be no.

Personally, I have issues with people who text more than they call you and I’ve said this before. People can text from ANYWHERE! I do it, you do it, and everyone does it. You know when someone you’re dating texts you a question which you think will be easy to answer by just phoning them, so you do and they don’t answer but then text you again right after? What is that about? Dude, I just rang your phone a second ago!? (Alarm bells).Personally, I think people who do that are very dodgy and I’ve never trusted anyone who texts more than they call.

I think that technology is amazing and the world has come so far, its remarkable. It won’t hurt for certain things to say the same though,but why talk about that when we can just text about it? 😉

And… she’s back!

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As I sit here staring at my screen, only one thought keeps repeating in my head. ‘Why did you stop writing?’ I decided earlier to put a stop to my self-imposed ban on blogging and get my shit together but, it wasn’t until I started typing that I realised how much I’ve missed this and how stupid I was to let one minor setback make me question my judgement . I decided that I am going to be bigger and better and more honest than I’ve ever been with my readers.

So, why did I run away from myself for a couple of months? Well, I’m sure most of you will guess the answer. It was because of a boy. Just one little boy trapped in a man’s body actually brought me to my knees in the space of 3 weeks! I think that in life, we all meet people who make an impact on our lives whether good or bad.

Although I am a great expert (I know, right?!) at giving people advice on relationships, I am totally rubbish at having one so, I went into one with all the good intentions of a girl who believes that not all men are the same and put real effort into it. Oh, he was a good man! He was so good, after a week of dating; he had me eating out the palm of his hand. I mean, what girl would not be over the moon when a guy she has dated for only 2 weeks asks her to meet his sister?  Although, that should have been a warning to me that it was too soon and we were moving too fast, I think I fell in love with him that minute! Don’t get me wrong, I was shitting bricks scared! My friends will tell you from our whatsapp group chats how crazy I was being. Questioning everything and second guessing myself but, he was so on point (for lack of a better word) that, even my friends called him Magic Mike because my attitude towards men had  changed drastically since I met him.

It wasn’t to last though. When someone pays you so much attention and then suddenly stops, you try all you can to find out why and I am somewhat ashamed to admit I did a few things that I always tell women not to do. The phone calls and texts, the sleepless nights and the crying, the drinking (ha, that actually is because I enjoy a drink!)And it took me longer than we were together to actually get over it. All of this made me feel like I wasn’t even qualified to give anyone advice on dating!

What did I learn during my time out from blogging? Quite a lot actually.  First of all, I know that I am not cut out for relationships. It’s not even about the right one coming along. It’s just a simple fact that, I like being alone. I don’t like thinking about another person and fretting over them. I don’t like that you open up to someone and give them all the tools they need to hurt you. I can’t even sleep properly if I am spending the night with someone so, what is the point? Everyone has a level of fuckedupness (yes, I just made that word up) in them and recognising them and dealing with them is better than burdening someone with them.

So, I am back to being myself again, I will continue to run as far away from emotional entanglements as long as I can and I am going to enjoy my life (blah blah). But, on a serious note, I missed all my loyal readers and I am not going away again. For now though, I will leave you with this amazingly true quote I found today: ‘’ passion is always a mystery and unaccountable, and unfortunately there is no doubt that life does not spare its purest children and often it is just the most deserving people who cannot help loving those that destroy them’’

2012 in review

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The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 7,400 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 12 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

Happy New Year in advance

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Hi everyone, as the year is coming to an end and I’m still on my self-imposed writing ban, I wanted to wish all of my readers the best 2013 has to offer and also to thank you for your support throughout the two years I’ve been blogging!!

I promise to be back soon, with more opinions to foist on you. Stronger and more determined to make it in this big and sometimes cruel world. In the meantime, my message to you for the new year is: let’s live right, let’s love, let’s be happy and as usual, let’s make money!

Yours ever,

Hertwrites 🙂

Taking a break

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Hi everyone

I am writing to let you know; I’ve decided to take a little break from blogging as I’ve been through some things recently, that has made me feel like I’m not really qualified to be giving advice to people. My judgement is in question at the moment so, a little time away soul searching is needed.

Hopefully, it won’t be for long and I promise to be back stronger and with more things to talk about. In the mean time, keep reading, keep writing and stay out of trouble!

Hetty