Relaxing… Its meant to be good for you generally. It’s good for your health and well-being, helps you to concentrate better, remember things better and most importantly, stops you from being a neurotic bitch. Have you ever been to a yoga class? I have. Did it relax me? No. Did I go back? Yes. How many times, you ask? Three whole months. I went to yoga class twice a week for 3 months just to learn how to relax because I was determined to and it didn’t work. I guess it was because I was trying too hard to relax. Who knows? One thing I learned in yoga though, I can do great maths in my head! In a 45 minute yoga class, I could do my monthly budget and plan how many shoes I could realistically buy without breaking the bank.
This post isn’t about yoga though. It’s about the fact that I do not know how to relax. My brain is constantly ticking away and I sometimes wonder if its insanity. I mean, everyone has conversations with themselves in their heads, right? Right?? Am I right? No? OK! Just me then! Just last night, I was lying in bed counting sheep so I could fall asleep (worse idea ever, by the way!) and the oddest thought popped into my head; what if I was not a real person but a ghost in someone’s body? I know, right? Barking mad, me! I actually started laughing at myself and decided to accept the fact that I was going insane.
I wish I could be one of those people who can just clear their minds and be laid back about everything but I guess I’m not. I mean, I have to think about things over and over. I over think the slightest things (ask any of my friends) and I take myself way too seriously (but that is because my inner diva tells me how awesome I am). I plan for every possible scenario and always try to be a step ahead of myself. I suppose it’s what life has taught me. If you spend a lot of time on your own, you tend to be your own saviour and in the process, end up being a neurotic paranoid crazy woman who sings stupid songs in your head while trying to work out important stuff. At the same time. I suppose if I was one of those perfectly sane, cool, calm and collected people (not just on the outside), I would be able to shelve my thoughts every day before I go to bed because thinking too much leads to not relaxing. Not relaxing leads to lack of sleep. Lack of sleep leads to getting a cold every month for almost 6 months, forgetting things as soon as I’ve thought about them, being grouchy and generally a nightmare to be around.
Wait, none of that made any sense! Ah well, It’s only my first blog in as many months…